Song playing: some random lofi playlist from youtube
I’ve gotten one year older. Maybe wiser, maybe stronger, but still have a lot of room to grow. Warning beforehand that this is going to be a pretty depressing post with promos just round the corner lmao.
Today is the day when I think back to the past few years and how I spent them. I think back to the equally happy and sad times this year. Did I regret anything? It’s always time to change isn’t it? But I never do, only inching along as the world continues to whirl at an alarming speed around me.
I don’t think I’ve gotten better acads-wise. In all honesty, I’m still as lazy as before. I still get distracted every 10 minutes studying. I am slow in completing work. I still don’t make notes like what I aimed to achieve. Where did that drive and passion go? It just fizzed out after a week, never making an appearance again.
Social-wise… I guess I’ve been trying to reach out to people with an open mind…? Talking to people I usually don’t talk to, regardless of my first impression of them, or any rumors circulating. Said hi to those who I might have avoided in the past, cause why not? It’s a small thing that can brighten someone’s day. (Although for some greetings I do require more physical effort cough N)
I started to drink more water, and exercise by running round the school track once a week. I guess that’s improvement…? Ahhahaha but I still don’t take regular lunches. My classmates have noticed but they don’t say anything so welp. Sn was a bit apprehensive at first but later she was like okay sure. I don’t feel hungry most of the time though, and I bring like bread from home so why not. C has been trying to get me to eat small snacks since I don’t get full meals. The acne meds have been working too, so I don’t really have any outbreaks anymore. Just that my lips get very dry and cracked, and I keep having to apply lip balm.
I still miss the days with R whenever I think back. But I don’t want to be roped into the mess again. So I shall leave the book closed as it is.
I’m not satisfied with myself. But yet I am content with my current position. Which is a weird feeling cause I’m constantly being pulled in both directions, leaving me tearing and in the same spot, unmoving.
So here’s a list of what I want to become, and I shall check back next year ahahha.
1) set a timer and goal for studying periods.
2) find a way to exercise in j2
3) find a good way to record things I need to do and can constantly refer to
4) make a schedule for time after school and weekends
5) stop hesitating when you don’t know how to do something. Do something about it! Don’t just stop and stare
I dare not write more cause I don’t have that high expectations of myself HAHAHAHA.
Sigh. Happy birthday again.